faith.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about provision. Specifically how God seems to provide when I least expect it. And how I can only do so much before I have to step back and allow God to do the rest.

The past 2 years have been filled with major transitions. I graduated college, started a new job, got engaged and then married and my husband and I moved into our own place. If someone would have told me these things would happen 5 years ago, I wouldn’t have believed it. Goals that seemed so far away were reached one after the other. I didn’t know then how to have the faith I have now.

You see, I have always considered myself a Christian. I went to church throughout my childhood and even some of my teenage years. But in 2014, I decided to rededicated my life to Christ. I made a commitment that I would live my life God’s way from that day on and that I would never look back. Prior to this time, I was led by self-doubt, negativity, and anxiety. These emotions made my decisions for me. This not to say that I didn’t have good times, or moments of happiness, but for the most part I couldn’t see more than what was right in front of me. I didn’t make God a priority in my life. So I couldn’t see more than what was right in front of me.

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It wasn’t until I started going back to church that year and reading more of God’s word that I realized there is a bigger purpose for my life. My priorities began to rearrange, one by one. I don’t think its a coincidence that this is also the year I met my husband. I understand now that God was ready to give me everything I needed and desired, but I had to be ready to receive it.

Fast forward to last year, when I started a new job, planned a wedding, and started to plan moving in with my husband. As happy as these occasions were, they each came with stress and challenges. There were so many moments that I felt overwhelmed with pressure and deadlines. It seemed like there was an obstacle at every corner we turned. In spite of the voice that kept telling me we wouldn’t overcome, there was a voice that was louder, reminding me over and over again – “God is your provider”.

Previously this was a phrase that sounded good. Yes, I get it, he is my provider. Great. Maybe there has been a scripture or sermon that you heard one time, then you hear it again and it hits you….”ohhh that’s what that means.” It’s a light bulb moment and suddenly, it becomes real to you. This is what happened to me. I knew intellectually that God was my provider. The next step was to receive it in my heart. I invite you to do the same. Understand that the word of God is alive. Meaning that it can resonate with you in different ways at different moments. His words are more than just an idea or a suggestion – they are promises.

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As soon as I started to really believe and know in my heart that God would take of care of my husband and I- I began to see our prayers being answered. God made a way where there seemed to be no way. Every obstacle was removed. To be clear, it wasn’t without a challenge or two, but we have been blessed beyond what we could imagine. All the while He was never asking for anything, just that we trust Him. Because if we really believe he is who he says he is, an all knowing, all powerful God, then how dare we try to limit Him? He can and will fulfill what He has said he would.

I am not perfect. I’m still trying to figure a lot of things out. I am a work in progress. But I can tell you, there is no freedom like the freedom that comes with trusting God for your provision. If I can do it, you can do it too. I like to control things, I make lists, I plan, I want to be one step ahead of anything that can go wrong. These don’t necessarily have to be bad qualities. In fact, I believe God wants us to prepare and honors us when we try our very best. Ultimately though, He is in full control. And putting all your trust in Him will never lead you down the wrong path.

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